If you have experienced infidelity or discovered pornography use in your relationship, you may feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you and you can’t stop falling. You have experienced a type of trauma. This is often referred to as betrayal trauma.
Many people enter therapy believing their relationship struggles are about communication, compatibility, or conflict styles. While those factors matter, they often overlook a deeper driver of relational distress: the nervous system.
The nervous system shapes how we experience closeness, conflict, safety, and connection. When trauma is present—whether from childhood, past relationships, or within the current partnership—it can quietly govern reactions that feel confusing, overwhelming, or out of proportion.
Many people struggling with intimacy don’t identify as having experienced “trauma.” They describe feeling disconnected, numb, guarded, or overwhelmed when closeness is expected. They may want intimacy deeply—emotionally, physically, or both—yet find themselves pulling away, shutting down, or feeling anxious when it begins to happen.
This experience is far more common than most people realize. And in many cases, it has less to do with desire, attraction, or effort—and more to do with trauma.
Betrayal changes everything. Whether the betrayal comes in the form of infidelity, secrecy, pornography use, or broken promises, the discovery often feels overwhelming and disorienting….
Learn how Internal Family Systems therapy helps you understand your inner “parts,” heal trauma, and experience lasting emotional change through Self-leadership.
For many people, traditional weekly therapy provides steady support and meaningful progress. But some experiences—especially trauma, betrayal, chronic stress, sexual addiction, or ongoing relational wounds—run…
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For many people, traumatic events, long-standing emotional pain, or unresolved past experiences are an unfortunate fact of life. These events can lead to deep, lasting…
Finding out that someone you trusted has betrayed you is an incredibly painful experience. It’s not just the betrayal itself. It’s the emotional scars that…
Trauma can leave lasting imprints on our emotional and mental well-being, making it difficult to move forward in life. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)…
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What is dissociation, and do I need trauma therapy for it? Dissociation is a common way people detach from themselves and their surroundings when a…
Certified Partner Trauma Therapists (CPTTs) are trained to help individuals navigate the complex emotions and relational challenges that arise after discovering they have been betrayed…
Author Johann Hari said in a recent TED Talk that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is human connection. Addiction…
Why is inner child work so effective? At The Finding Place, we believe the best therapy should eventually include inner child work, so let’s talk…
If you’re new to our website or our blog, at The Finding Place, we specialize in treating sexual addiction. Our certified sexual addiction therapists (CSATs)…
What is a trigger? In the context of mental health, the term trigger refers to “a situation or experience that acts as a catalyst for…
What is generational trauma? Imagine a little boy who was physically and verbally abused by his father for not performing well in school, so he…
When most people hear the word “trauma,” they think about major life events. We call this “Big T trauma”—a car accident, rape, fighting in a…
Trauma in our Minds and Bodies When most people hear the word “trauma,” they think about major life events. We call this “Big T trauma”—a…
You just found out your partner has been unfaithful. You found porn on his phone. He confessed to years of infidelity. Your mind is spinning….
You found out your husband is addicted to porn. Or he had an affair. Or multiple affairs. And now you feel like you’re going crazy….